If you’ve been hurt—really hurt—it makes sense that you’d become guarded. Maybe you’ve found yourself saying, “I’ll never trust anyone again.” And if that’s you, I want to start by saying: I get it. That kind of pain runs deep.

 

When trust is broken, especially in an intimate relationship, the aftermath can feel like emotional whiplash. You go from connection to collapse. From hope to heartbreak. And in that raw, vulnerable moment, your mind does what it knows best: it tries to protect you. So you make a decision—“Never again. It’s safer to trust no one.”

And while that decision might have felt empowering in the moment, here’s the hard truth: it’s actually a form of self-betrayal disguised as protection.

 

Let me explain.

When you tell yourself it’s easier to trust no one, what you’re really saying is, “I’m going to give away my power to the person who hurt me.” Because now, they’re not just someone who wounded you in the past—they’re the reason you no longer believe in connection, vulnerability, or trust in the present.

Not trusting anyone is easy. You don’t have to put yourself out there. You don’t have to risk anything. Life becomes black and white, neat and predictable. But here’s the thing: growth doesn’t live in predictability. It lives in discernment.

 

By choosing to never trust again, you rob yourself of the opportunity to learn what real trust looks like. You miss out on the chance to develop emotional intelligence, to recognize red flags and green flags. You don’t get to practice the skill of identifying who is worthy of your vulnerability.

And make no mistake—trust is a skill. It’s something we learn, strengthen, and refine. It’s not about blindly giving yourself away. It’s about showing up with the wisdom you’ve earned through your experiences, and using that wisdom to guide your relationships.

 

If this mindset has become a roadblock for you—especially in your romantic life—I want to offer you a gentle invitation: you don’t have to keep living in survival mode.

 

Yes, your self-protective instinct was valid. Yes, you were hurt deeply. But you’re not that same person anymore. You’re wiser now. More intuitive. More grounded. Now is the time to transform that pain into power—not by shutting people out, but by letting the right people in.

 

You can learn to trust again without repeating the past.

And if you’re struggling to figure out how to do that, I can help.

Link to Video: https://www.tiktok.com/@intimacyinprogress/video/7489261040018967850