Let’s start with a truth bomb: the holidays are stressful for everyone. There are flights to book, pies to bake, and a thousand texts to respond to from family members who suddenly forget how Facetime works. Now, layer on the dynamics of an open relationship—juggling multiple partners, societal judgment, and the occasional eyebrow-raising comment from Aunt Brenda—and you’ve got yourself a recipe for holiday chaos. But hey, chaos can be festive, right?
Here’s how to turn that festive chaos into something manageable, maybe even magical.
The Art of the Holiday Schedule (a.k.a. Emotional Tetris)
First up: time management. If the holidays are a time of giving, the number one thing you’ll give is your calendar a stress test. Multiple partners mean multiple traditions, multiple families, and, oh yeah, multiple potential meltdowns when someone feels left out.
Here’s the trick: start early. Way early. As soon as Starbucks switches to their holiday cups, have The Talk™ with your partners. Who wants to do what, and when? Use shared calendars or apps—yes, it’s a little Type A, but it works. And don’t try to be Santa. You don’t have to be everywhere, with everyone, at all times. Split the celebrations. If you’re spending Thanksgiving with one partner, maybe Christmas Eve is for another. And for the love of peppermint mochas, communicate.
The Jealousy Monster Lurking Under the Mistletoe
Here’s the thing about open relationships: even when they’re strong, feelings can sneak up on you. Holidays are all about connection, and it’s easy for insecurity to slide in when one partner gets an extra slice of your time or attention.
The antidote? Transparency and reassurance. Tell your partners what they mean to you, not just in some obligatory “I care about you” way, but specifically. Like, “I loved spending last year’s holiday baking cookies with you, and I can’t wait to do it again this year.” A little intentionality goes a long way.
And let’s not forget the importance of self-awareness. If you’re feeling twinges of jealousy yourself, it’s okay. (You’re human, not a Zen master.) The goal isn’t to shove those feelings down but to notice them, understand them, and maybe talk them through with someone who gets it. Preferably someone who isn’t Aunt Brenda.
Family Gatherings: To Share or Not to Share
Ah, family. The great holiday wildcard. If you’re in an open relationship, the family dinner table can feel like a minefield. Should you bring one partner, both, or none? Should you explain your situation to Great-Uncle Joe, or just nod along when he asks, “So, when are you two tying the knot?”
There’s no universal answer here, but here’s a good rule of thumb: do what feels authentic and safe. Maybe you bring one partner and save the deeper discussions for another time. Or maybe you decide this year isn’t the year to shake up Grandma’s worldview. Either way, discuss it with your partners beforehand. Nobody likes surprises when they involve mashed potatoes and existential conversations.
Gift-Giving Without Going Bankrupt (or Breaking Hearts)
Gift-giving is a minefield even in monogamous relationships, but in an open setup? It’s like running a holiday triathlon. You want to be thoughtful without overextending yourself—financially or emotionally.
Here’s the hack: focus on meaningful gestures, not price tags. A handwritten letter. A framed photo. Tickets to a concert you can enjoy together. It’s the thought that counts, not the number of zeros on the receipt. And if the budget’s tight? Shared experiences (like baking cookies or watching bad holiday movies) can be just as memorable. Bonus points if you pick something with mutual inside-joke potential.
Surviving the Logistics Circus
Holidays are basically a giant puzzle, and open relationships add a few extra pieces. Travel plans. Work schedules. The partner who suddenly announces they’re allergic to eggnog (is that even a thing?).
The key to not losing your mind is to keep things flexible. Make plans, but expect a few curveballs. And when things inevitably don’t go as planned? Embrace the chaos. The perfect holiday doesn’t exist—monogamous, open, or otherwise. What does exist is a bunch of imperfect, messy, beautiful moments with the people you care about. Lean into that.
Societal Judgment: The Uninvited Holiday Guest
Here’s the reality: not everyone gets open relationships. And nothing brings out opinions like the holiday season. Whether it’s side-eye at the office party or unsolicited advice from Cousin Megan (“You know this is just a phase, right?”), judgment can hit hard.
The solution? Confidence. Practice a few neutral responses, like, “I’m really happy with my relationships, thanks for asking,” and move on. Surround yourself with people who get it—whether that’s your partners, your friends, or the online communities that keep it real. Remember, you don’t owe anyone an explanation, and their opinions don’t define your happiness.
Self-Care: The Ultimate Holiday Hack
Amid all the juggling, don’t forget the most important person in this equation: you. The holidays can be emotionally intense, and taking care of yourself isn’t just nice—it’s necessary.
Carve out some alone time to journal, meditate, or binge a show that has nothing to do with the holidays. Reflect on what the season means to you and how you can create moments of joy, whether that’s a quiet morning with coffee or a late-night drive blasting Mariah Carey. Your well-being is the foundation for everything else.
Closing Thoughts: Joy, Chaos, and Connection
The holidays are messy, emotional, and, let’s face it, a little ridiculous. But they’re also a chance to connect—with your partners, your chosen family, and yourself. Whether you’re navigating three different holiday parties or just trying to make it through one family dinner, remember this: love doesn’t fit neatly into a Hallmark card, and that’s okay. The best moments are the ones you create, messy edges and all.
So, pour the eggnog, set those boundaries, and let the season unfold. After all, the holidays aren’t about perfection—they’re about presence. And that’s something worth celebrating.
